Archive for the 'God Chat' Category

Sorry I Missed Your Call
April 23, 2008

Hi God
Sorry I wasn’t here to take your call but leave a message at the beep and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.
 Hi Anita
You’re not funny. Call me back.
God, you have no one to blame but yourself for that.
Anita, this is your Lord God
I expect you to obey my commands.
Call me.
Hi [...]

Is Googling The Bible A Sin
April 23, 2008

 
You’re testing me God…I know you are. Like you want to see how fair and compassionate and forgiving and all Churchy with my fellow human beings I’ve been.
I’ll confess straight up.
I’m going to lose, but what the Hell…you gotta forgive me for blowing it because it’s in the rules. Okay, I didn’t learn the rules in Sunday [...]

Question
April 23, 2008

What do you think….
Is this a nice invitation ( option 1) or is it more like one of those notes
your teacher sent home to your Mom safety pinned to your jacket ( option 2 ) ?
I’m going for option 2

Emergency God Chat In Progress
April 23, 2008

Okay God.
I was going through the WordPress News Departments Page and what did I see?
A Post that said you sent out Valentine Cards.
Say What?
You and me…let’s back up here so I can say that again.
YOU SENT OUT VALENTINE CARDS?!
All I know is
I DIDN’T GET ONE
Don’t blame it on Communists or ” Educrats “… BANNING THEM.
Admit it.
YOU FORGOT ME
Wait [...]

Dear Grandma
April 23, 2008

Dear Grandma
If I don’t see you in Heaven it’s because I posted this on my blog
xoxoxo
anita marie

Thank You Baby Jesus
April 23, 2008

It was a rough commute to work this morning- road rage people are worse on Fridays because there aren’t as many people for them to attempt to kill on the weekends I guess.
So what could cheer me up after almost being murdered in a crosswalk by a Lexus?

I got to work and found out Kangaroo [...]

I am SO forgiven
April 23, 2008

 
Hi God
You know when we have these chats I get mail and comments and the gist of it is ” blah, blah, sacrilege that  blah, blah  you’re gonna fry and my favorite:  ” gee Anita if you keep this up God will be so busy tossing lightening bolts at you that the rest of  us will be [...]

Sup God
April 23, 2008

It’s Sunday.
This is the day I check in with God and tell him about my week.
I’d do it at Church, but I’m banned. I figured that out after I noticed that when I show up there’s like 20 guys who look like Father Merrin lining the walk up to the doors so- I get the hint already.
 

Dear God,
It’s [...]

Is It That Time Of The Month Again?
April 23, 2008

Yes indeed, it’s Sunday.
Time to have my weekly chat with God.
I know, I know
If  I were really serious about this I’d do it every day
 but if my Mom found out I call God more then her?
She’d bust me open like a crispy Lumpia.
So anyway here we go:
 

Dear God,
I want to thank you for a pretty good week.
Nobody [...]

A Little Help Here
April 23, 2008

 
It’s Sunday, so I’m going to do a little prayer here…and if you stand clear as I say it the chances of you being hit by a bolt of lightening are pretty slim so here it goes….
Dear God- Please help me not laugh hysterically this week at the ignorance of others- like those Nazis my [...]